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Blog Call the action running, but don't call them a runner.

Call the action running, but don't call them a runner.

07/21/2023


Have you ever called your Twin Flame the runner? 

It's common Twin Flame language... the runner and chaser dynamic that it seems all too easy to get caught up in. It can even be useful language. I know that identifying as a chaser for the beginning of my separation period was pivotal in helping me understand the patterns I was playing out, and what wasn't going to work to get my Twin Flame and I reunited again. 

However, there came a time in my journey that I had to chose to let that label go, and at the same time, remove the runner label from my Twin Flame too. Otherwise, we'd be stuck forever in these less than ideal identities that are only serving to keep us apart. 

I invite you to separate the pattern from the identity. 

If you see yourself as the chaser, and your Twin Flame as the runner, this is going to keep you in those patterns of behavior. It's going to manifest and continue to speak that patterning into existence. We know that to be in union, no one is running and no one is chasing, so as long as we identify as a runner or a chaser, Union isn't possible. We have to let these titles go to get there.

Here's what I recommend instead:

Drop the Runner/Chaser label and instead look at what pattern that is playing out instead. Get to the heart of why this pattern is here. Why might your or your Twin Flame be defaulting to this pattern? If we assume that most patterning comes from a form of self-protection, what might feel threatening that causes this protection behavior? Once you've identified that, think about other ways you might be able to keep yourself safe without also pushing away Union. 

What is the act of chasing really, and why are you doing it? What do you need to do for you get out of that space?

And, what is running really? Why might your Town Flame be doing this, and is there any energy work you could help them with to start that shift? 

Another thing to look at with these patterns is the mirroring. When you decide what your Twin Flame is running from or why, look to yourself too, and see if you're running from the same things? When we see our Twin Flame of only being cable of running, and us only capable of chasing, we miss out where we're doing the other behavior too. If you're in chasing mode, what is your Twin Flame chasing, and does that reveal to you any information that could help guide your inner work. 

I know how painful it can be when your Twin Flame runs, or when you want so hard to stop chasing but you just can't. Try reframing it from this perspective and see what you can shift instead! 


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